Basically cock blocks fall into two major categories. In my experience they have either been intentional or unintentional.
Strategic CB - This is the use of a cock block technique to place yourself in a better position with a girl. It is basically tactics people use in normal competition, but it can easily get out of hand.
Spiteful - This is when some fuck-monger knows he has no interest in the girl you target but cock blocks you anyway. This mother fucker should have hot water poured down his throat.
Kamikaze - Ahh yes, when rivals are failing, in order to save face they put on the white bandanna and do what is also known as a Double bladed cockblock. This guy is a loser who failed at his mission and is willing to destroy any chances for him or you by doing anything to cock block everybody.
Note - this does not have to be between two males, one male can effectively cock block a room full of males by doing something incredibly stupid. This guy is kind of like your suicide bomber, nothing to lose, be careful.
Revenge - This is simply a cock block that is payback. It can be done as revenge for a different act or revenge on someone who accidentally cockblocked you earlier and wants to pay his dues to make it even.
Jealous (girl) - The jealous cock block for guys is kind of a no brainer. However, I was recently cock blocked by a short little bitch that I paid no attention to. I was talking to a much more attractive girl and the cunt started to play fight with me, kind of marking her territory. Only problem is I'm not her territory and I've gotten no pussy from her. So it seems she just felt like being a bitch. I’ll get her back by sneaking into her room, and lacing the tip of her tampons with Alka-Seltzer dust, and then watching her dance around the next day.
Notorious - This is just a blatant cock block done with no tact whatsoever. So blatant that everyone is kind of cringing at the brutality. People get shot for this type of cock block. I think an example is in order. I was at a party and this attractive girl I was talking to wanted a cigarette. I told her I had some in my room. SHE AGREED TO COME ALONG. Obviously this was my tactic to achieve the all so important isolation and put a couple in her. Now I don’t smoke, but I DO have cigarettes for just an occasion. Of course she didn’t know that, she only knows what I tell her. BUT there was a loser in the room who was competing and doing horribly, and right as we were leaving he said out loud in a mocking voice "(my name), what do you mean your going for a cigarette, YOU know you dont smoke!" At this point I slowly turned around and stared at this horse fucker. I know she heard it and she kind of cringed. The only reason he’s alive right now is because I was in a crowded area. Needless to say, she caught on to my tactic and, embarrassed probably by the crowd who heard that shit, declined to come with. His name was Corbin. IF you know anyone named Corbin punch them in the face.
Wanted designated - Simple, a girl, usually one who is going to go drinking, assigns one of her "friends" to guard her pussy. The reasons vary but are usually all stupid. (Except if she’s on her period in which case she should be inside crying or whatever girls do).
Unwanted designated - This is when a girl has a female "wingman" and finds an attractive guy BUT the female wingbitch doesn’t approve of him so she gets in between them all the time. God I hate this one, because the girl is willing, but is talked out of it by her stupid slut. Meanwhile, the wingbitch is fucking more people than the IRS. (A big undertaking). The rules she applies to her "friend's" pussy (type of guy she won’t cockblock) usually don't apply to her own cooch. Shoot bitches like this. They pretend to be good friends with the girl. They are the worse sort of enemy.
Progressive - This is a cock block offensive technique that deals progressively larger damage as time goes by. For example, at the beginning of the night, a rival might try a small powered cock block attack. An hour later he will try a larger block. So on and so forth until the cock block attack strength overpowers your defense and you fall victim. This technique can also manifest itself as an "I told you so" cockblock. This is where a guy tells a girl that another guy is just trying to fuck her (something any smart girl would know) and then as the night progresses, he keeps alluding to his earlier comment, preventing her defenses from falling because she’s on guard. That son of a bitch. It is an interesting technique to say the least.
Free stuff - This is a classic form of obtaining isolation - offer the bitch free shit. Put the words free and stuff together and any girl's clit gets hard. It's almost as arousing as saying the word "money" around them.
Distraction - This is a particularly annoying one, usually done by novices trying to hard for attention, but it can be used by more sophisticated players. This cock block involves an idiot doing dumb shit or talking overly loud to disrupt your conversation and get the girls attention. It usually never bears fruit anyway, and always leaves your conversation fragmented, hard to pick up. This can be coupled with digital technology however, in the form of text messages and calls to distract a girl long enough for interest to be lost by either party.
Cell phone - Which leads me to the cell phone cock block which is a subset of the Distraction. I have to emphasize this, if you have achieved isolation, MAKE HER TURN HER CELLY OFF. A call at the wrong moment will fuck everything up.
School - This category is one of the most annoying. Fucking useless dead end job mother cunts called "health" teachers scare all of the high school pussy shut. They blab on and on about STD's and rape and pregnancy that after there are done with their government bred rhetoric, all the girls have titanium chastity belts. Then they are further brainwashed about finding the "right" guy and all this romance bullshit. Ridiculous. All health teachers should be lined up and shot.
Leaked, false info (he's gay, he's got aids) - This cock block can be one of if not the most damaging. This is a form of long term widespread cock blockings. As you should know, girls talk too fucking much and they have interconnecting networks of gossip, rumors, and mind pissing ignorance. However, as mentioned before girls believe anything, which means that if some fucker or fucket (female cockblocker) can just inject a stream of lies into their vegetative brains and instantly fuck you up. For example, a guy could tell a girl that you are gay or that you sleep around (high chance of diseases) OR they might just make something up. A girl could say that you’re lousy in bed or that you’re a rapist or that you have a small penis which will usually get the job done, and deny you access to not only one pussy, but all networked pussy. So sad, too bad, I’m a victim too.
Suicide - Suicide cock block is complicated. This is effectively when you cock block yourself. If done intentionally, it is to save face or honor. If you are unwittingly flirting with a friend's ex or sister you can do the ritual suicide, not unlike seppuku. One can also do this if one realizes that they are making a mistake. For example, if one is very drunk and realizes they are talking to a fat chick, or if something comes up in a conversation that voids the pussy this is a good tactic. If some girl tells you she had mono or the clap, use the cyanide pill.
GOD CB - This is when some girl throws some kind of outdated crap from the (pick your holy text) and says that’s why she can’t sleep with you. If this happens, turn around and walk away. Religious chicks are not worth it.
God mode - This is a cock blocker that is absolutely determined to fuck you over. This cum guzzling deer fucker attempts a technique, fails, and tries another, but he is continuous and relentless in the attack. All counters fail as he ruins your chances at scoring. These people stop at nothing, not even violence to stop you from getting laid. I’ve only seen this rare technique done twice by two cock block masters. One was to me and one to my friend. The guy who cock blocked me did it over the long term, more like a cock block war between us where we both were destroyed to a point of being negligible to other rivals. He was dubbed cock block Jesus the day he initiated the war. The guy who cock blocked my friend actually gathered a bunch of muscle men, went to his house, and demanded that they split up. He was dubbed THE COCK BLOCK GOD. His name I tell you not. I cower in fear whenever his name is spoken.
Gilded - The gilded cock block is essentially a need for a suicide CB. The girl looks good on the outside, but 5 min into the conversation you KNOW you are getting nowhere with this bitch and that she’s wasting your time. Run away fast
Just friends - This is classic. A girl will give you all the signs. You will start spending time with her. Hell you might even sleep with her (no sex). She might tell you bullshit like she loves you or whatever but it's all to keep you enslaved. But when it comes down to spreading them and taking it like a woman she tosses this technique out. This often happens after months of what u though was hard work. This can be by far the most heart and spirit breaking cock blocks. These whores often go out and get asshole boyfriends and have the nerve to try to talk to you about it.
Listen to me.
Don’t let this happen to you. Give them nothing. Do nothing for them. Be absolutely clear from the start about what you want (sex). Don’t be nice. If this is happening to you stop it, stop talking to her you nerd. You are being used. Jerk off instead, oh that’s right you do it anyway CUZ U GET NO ASS. Stop wasting your time AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Asshole - When the guy who CB's you HAS A GF. My god I hate these people. YOU have a steady source of vagina and vulva and yet you have to fuck it up for the rest of us. I hope your condom breaks and you get aids and have kids and get cancer and get in a car accident and die burn in hell forever you scum of the earth. You block all advances on your bitch while making advances to every other bitch. DIE!
One upper - One of the absolute classic cock blocks. Simply say something better and more impressive than what the other guy says. I mean, its cliché, but its classic because it WORKS. Like I said before, a girl will believe you were the reincarnation of Jesus if you could do something to prove it in her mind. So telling a girl you have a Porsche, whipping out the keys and showing her a picture, then saying it's at home or in the shop actually fucking works sometimes. The person using this technique to attack usually just turns the girl off after bragging about themselves. They usually have high egos and no experience with women. A novice trick at best, only used by professionals to fuck around with people.
Boyfriend/ex - HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE A BF? Then why the fuck did u flirt with me so heavily. I didn’t know dude What’s that you’re engaged? Girls do this ALL the fucking time. *Remember ALWAYS ask if they are single*. If they ask you remember, you don’t have to tell the truth, but she usually will. Because she’s stupid hahhahahahahahha.
What doesn't bother me is if a girl had a BF and puts out anyway, fine. What pisses me off is when they KNOW they have a BF and they flirt with you and at the last moment they go oh wait I have a BF ha-ha and scurry off to go get penetrated.
OR
An angry ex who can’t let go will try to fuck up your flow by arguing with her, giving you dirty vibes, or straight out trying to fight you. Take out a gun and shoot this mother fucker. Then piss on his remains, as a sign of disrespect and desecration.
Lesbian - What the... this is one of THE MOST unexpected attacks. I have seen it used with devastating effects. Lesbians turning straight girls to their side right before my eyes.
*Note: all girls are part lesbian, girls like girls and like guys who look and act like girls*
Often this lesbian will be extremely hot. In disguise, she will flirt with a lot of the men, drawing their attention to her. Then, the girls that are receiving less attention she will slowly mind poison with her lesbian rhetoric. She has an advantage; she is as illogical as the women she’s trying to get, so she knows exactly what to say. Then you find that all the girls left together. That’s the last time you see that girl straight. We refer to this as "going to the dark side". Where lesbian "Sith" lords are the rulers of a vast lesbian empire, strong with the dark side of the force. Guys like me (Dark Jedi) must battle those clit lickers to keep our bitches yearning cock. It is an uphill battle and we lose more ground everyday. But we must fight on and stop these hairless dykes from moving in on our territory.
*Note* This can be a form of cocktease cock block, where they flirt with you heavily and then tell you they are lesbians, effectively wasting your time.
Drunken - This is when drunken idiots fuck up your mood, and I’m sure this has been observed or probably even committed by many of you assholes. They commit this crime by knocking on the door, telling dirty jokes and making direct references to sex like "are you two goona fuck now? Hahahaha". They play it off like a joke but they are jealous it’s not them. I hope they fall down a flight of stairs.
CockTease (perfect) Cock block - The most powerful technique known to mankind. This is ridiculous. This is when a girl intentionally takes all of your time and attention KNOWING FULL WELL that they are just toying with you. This attack has no counter except for ignoring this bitch forever and spreading the word so that others may know. These good for nothing skanks figured out the truth somehow and use their powers to gain things at a horny man's expense. They run around flaunting their vulvas and titties. They are usually really hot and they know it. My brethren, fear not, one day someone will cum on her face, some penis some where will eventually get in. These women need to be burned at the stake. Throw the bitch in a bon fire.
Unintentional - These cock blocks are very powerful because it is like god is playing with you. These cock blocks often come after a bitter battle has been won and you HAVE sexual consent, but fate aspires against you. Fear not, GOD IS playing with us.
Random variable - Think it up and you got it, just something that doesn’t go your way. Like locking yourself out of your room or something like that. Usually something you cannot prepare for or counter, just got to roll with the punch.
Poor man's - HAHAHAHAH this is classic, oh I've had so much experience with this. You were unlucky enough to be born poor, which means you don’t got stuff to impress women with. You didn’t have a car at 16, you didn’t live in a house and or didn’t have your own room, and you lack the pussy infrastructure necessary to get laid. Back in the day, where I read that women had sex for (dear I say it) fun, and they weren’t looking for free shit this wasn’t a problem. Nowadays they want handouts. Basically if you’re in this category you have two options:
1. Get rich
2. Fat chicks
Either way you should curse your god and revoke your religion.
Dumb comment - This goes hand in hand with the suicide one. I’m sure you can imagine some thing you can say to turn a girl off. It’s not hard.
Cell phone - Again, an ill placed call, this time by chance for either you or your bitch.
Suicide - This is the same as above, only it happens by accident. This is why I say don’t talk to much, act cool, mellow, slow, and don’t talk about yourself. This can happen easily when you reveal too much to a girl or bore her with your dumb stories. No one cares about you, your life sucks anyway. I mean how else would you find this site? You never know what might turn the bitch off.
Weather - Kind of self explanatory. Get all ready to get yourself some pussy and snow storm/tornado/flood fucked it up. Guess its porn and some lotion tonight.
Mechanic - Yes the dreaded dead car battery. OR perhaps the bus you're on brakes down or is caught up in traffic. AND of course they fix it long after the mood is gone. Nice one god (applause).
Group – Typical. This is simply not being able to get a girl in isolation where you can better work your techniques. This often happens in clubs and at large parties. This could happen if you only have one class with a girl or you only see them at work for a short time and they disappear. You can’t talk to her in a more private or social setting where she would be more receptive to your advances. Life sucks... Usually by the time you get to her she’s taken, oh well.
Rich man's - This is kind of like the poor man's, but it can have two interpretations. The first is the exact opposite, for some reason this bitch doesn’t like people who seem too rich because they are afraid of being thought of as an object or whore that was bought. (Even thought they all are).
The second is when you’re trying your best to get a girl's attention (you being poor) and then a guy rolls up with a Mercedes and her pussy starts to crack a smile. Kiss her and your hard work goodbye. You can’t afford dates hahahhaaa.
Unwanted undesignated - You and sally are walking toward your room. Sally walks into her friend Beth randomly. Beth has a bad vibe from you. Beth pulls Sally away to go to something important, oh but its ok; Sally will "be right back, I promise".
HAHHAHAHA.
Ignorance - This is when the girl is just sooooooo dumb that in her mindless bumbling she manages to kind of cunt block herself. I'll give you an example. I had a party at my place. Everybody was drinking. Girl that was eying me publicly announced that she was going into my room to look at my play lists. (Obvious opportunity for me). So she goes and naturally I follow, but not too close behind. Now here I must explain that when you don’t use your computer for a while the screen goes black. My fucking monitor was asleep, but when she went in she was too dumb to know how to wake it up so as I closed in she was exiting and I could stop her. What a dumb bitch. I would have put some hurt in her skirt. Something blessed on her breasts. Something blunt in her cunt. Something fina in her vagina.... yeah I think you get it.
Prejudice - This is THE WORSE unintentional. Just can’t counter it. Even if your rich, fit, smart, handsome whatever, IF the stupid slut was taught that "all Asians are bad" her first impression of you is BAD. If she believes that all black men are rapists, then you can be Densely Washington, you’re just a rich rapist. This I blame on media and the parents. Geography can also play a role too. Ah well not much u can do here... you can "get to know them" and establish some trust, but is it really worth the effort?
IS it?